As we were driving down the Deerfoot the other day I saw a moo-cow truck on its way to Brooks (or somewhere else with a slaughterhouse). In this truck was a cow that must have had her bum facing just the right way that when she peed it sprayed out of the truck within splashing distance of any vehicle beside the truck. The worst part is that we were in a bit of a traffic jam and the car next to the truck had it's window open.
I hope the cow had bad aim.
Saturday, August 30, 2003
Friday, August 29, 2003
Link
Fake Teeth Fambly
This is worth taking a look at just for the X rated names.... Reading some of these really makes me think of Bart Simpson calling Moe!
Examples include:
Quicky, Anita
Ramclit, Cleotis E.
Ralin, Rill
Takeumoff, Dempanties
Talia, Gene E.
Dareer, Pokerin
Dareme, Dontcha
Dewar, Didja
Ehrlich, Ilene
Enus, Rockard P.
Frombehine, Gitner
Fuddy, Buck U.
Gettensum, Al B.
Gina, Ava
Goo, Uwanna Ma
You get the picture...
This is worth taking a look at just for the X rated names.... Reading some of these really makes me think of Bart Simpson calling Moe!
Examples include:
Quicky, Anita
Ramclit, Cleotis E.
Ralin, Rill
Takeumoff, Dempanties
Talia, Gene E.
Dareer, Pokerin
Dareme, Dontcha
Dewar, Didja
Ehrlich, Ilene
Enus, Rockard P.
Frombehine, Gitner
Fuddy, Buck U.
Gettensum, Al B.
Gina, Ava
Goo, Uwanna Ma
You get the picture...
Ponders.
Today is my last day working with the City. It was tons of fun and I met some really cool people that I'm sure I will continue to keep in touch with. Thanks ladies for a great month!
It's also my last day with Adecco. They seem to have been very helpful with me finding consistent temp work and were also keen to find me interview opportunities when they came up. My suggestion, though, for anyone who is interested in temping is to tell Adecco that you are very interested in working with TESA and the City, because it's a great place to get some experience that should ultimatly lead you to a)the best paying intro-intermediate temp wages b) valuable experience with the City that plays well to prepare you for a possible opening... because as far as I'm concerned it would be a fine thing to work for them. 98% of the people are helpful and warm - and at least 80% are focused on their work. (Tee hee ;-)
Plus the City has the best recycling program I've seen, and also some of the most blatant paper wastage... thank goodness they've got the recycling program to slightly make up for the horrid bulk of tree carnage I get to sift through daily here.
I'm very happy to have my new job with an educational institution. I think it will be exciting to work with students - I'll be the Admin Assistant / greeter / office coordinator for a busy busy department that provides many many services. There's a employee union of sorts that has tons of fine print for me to read through before I start on Tuesday... it lets me know that for every month I work I get 1.5 days holiday, for instance. (Sidenote: this should give Jon and I enough time to take our Reading Week 3-yr-anniversary-belated honeymoon in February - I hope) I really appreciate that every element of the HR process was fine-tuned, unlike my previous 'permanant' position last spring. This will set me at ease because I know that my job will actually have a definite description and ample training.... that makes me go "Ahhhh" :-)
I wanted to write a bit more now, but time has run out. Back to work!
Happy Friday!
It's also my last day with Adecco. They seem to have been very helpful with me finding consistent temp work and were also keen to find me interview opportunities when they came up. My suggestion, though, for anyone who is interested in temping is to tell Adecco that you are very interested in working with TESA and the City, because it's a great place to get some experience that should ultimatly lead you to a)the best paying intro-intermediate temp wages b) valuable experience with the City that plays well to prepare you for a possible opening... because as far as I'm concerned it would be a fine thing to work for them. 98% of the people are helpful and warm - and at least 80% are focused on their work. (Tee hee ;-)
Plus the City has the best recycling program I've seen, and also some of the most blatant paper wastage... thank goodness they've got the recycling program to slightly make up for the horrid bulk of tree carnage I get to sift through daily here.
I'm very happy to have my new job with an educational institution. I think it will be exciting to work with students - I'll be the Admin Assistant / greeter / office coordinator for a busy busy department that provides many many services. There's a employee union of sorts that has tons of fine print for me to read through before I start on Tuesday... it lets me know that for every month I work I get 1.5 days holiday, for instance. (Sidenote: this should give Jon and I enough time to take our Reading Week 3-yr-anniversary-belated honeymoon in February - I hope) I really appreciate that every element of the HR process was fine-tuned, unlike my previous 'permanant' position last spring. This will set me at ease because I know that my job will actually have a definite description and ample training.... that makes me go "Ahhhh" :-)
I wanted to write a bit more now, but time has run out. Back to work!
Happy Friday!
Thursday, August 28, 2003
Near miss.
Jon and I witnessed a mad-as-hell woman get out of a moving mini van on Blackfoot this morning...
Actually she more of flopped out, almost dragging her legs while holding onto the door. After she effed-off the guy driving she almost walked into our car, hopped over the concrete median to the pedestrian sidewalk, and started walking. The mini-van kept driving.
She must have been *pissed off* - it's a lengthy walk to downtown from Deerfoot/Blackfoot.
I'm really gald I didn't see her get any road rash - that' just what I would have wanted to see first thing before getting to work. Ugh.
Actually she more of flopped out, almost dragging her legs while holding onto the door. After she effed-off the guy driving she almost walked into our car, hopped over the concrete median to the pedestrian sidewalk, and started walking. The mini-van kept driving.
She must have been *pissed off* - it's a lengthy walk to downtown from Deerfoot/Blackfoot.
I'm really gald I didn't see her get any road rash - that' just what I would have wanted to see first thing before getting to work. Ugh.
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Super-A
Last night, I had a weird dream.
It involved me checking grades online and noticing something odd. Apparently the 'F' in Linear Algebra (it was at 8:00AM for God sakes! And the teacher had the most bizarre accent!) I got was was so old and 'aged' it got turned into a 'Super-A'. Now I have no idea what a 'Super-A' is, but I assume it is good as it boosted up my GPA to a 4.5, which is impossible.
I think I should mention that to the powers that be...maybe I can get a 'Super-A' for real.
On a side note, our car sucks. It does this weird vibration thing, which I think is the torque converter. After I change the tranny fluid (speaking of the word 'tran', anyone know where you can get wide chick boots in Calgary? I figured a drag queen might know...any queens reading this? BTW this is for someone else...not me...uh huh.) hopefull that will fix the shudder. However, it could cost a lot to get the whole thing fixed, and it was doing some other expensive looking stuff. Damn cars.
Rea has the new job, which pays well to start, so we were thinking that buying a new car might be an option. I think I can get 32 cents for the Civic, and if we put the two dogs and some cash down (that has a sicker double meaning than I was intending...hehe) we can buy this car or this car for fairly reasonable. I realize that this is not my dream car, but it will due for the time being, and it is 'cheap' for a new car. Plus it has a 60 month warrenty. What has a 60 month warrenty these days? Once again, I say...damn cars.
Other than that, this is my last week at the Cubicle Farm (the sequal to Animal Farm, by Orwell. The animals adopt capitalism instead and realize they moved from one cage to another). I feel that I have a fluorescent sunburn, and am happy I can get out of the lime-green glow. I will miss my co-workers, and the money, but hey...it's a work term.
Tonight I have The Final Presentation for the term, and have to do a 15 minute song-and-dance to appease the gods. Going through the boring PowerPoint slides, I am at 14 minutes...if I talk slow enough, and lose my place a few times. I hate PowerPoint...it is the most over used 'Executive Tool' (and I do not use the word tool loosely here) that I have ever seen. Everyone uses the same dumb-ass backgrounds, with the same dumb-ass transitions, with the same dumb-ass clip-art. They are always boring and non-memorable. The same applies to Word...same letter formatting, same resume look. Personally, I think presentations should be mimed...that would be sweet.
Last night, we went to A Major Electronics Retailer to look at a camera, and had a real numbnuts help us. Lets call him 'Shawn' (not his real name). Shawn decided that we didn't need a digicam, and kept asking us questions like "Why do you want a camera?" or "Do you actually take pictures?" or "A film camera is faster, and cheaper". Shawn also said he hasn't taken a picture in 8 years. I will chalk it up to him being young, but hey...do you get commission for not selling stuff now?
Anyhow, back to 'work'.
It involved me checking grades online and noticing something odd. Apparently the 'F' in Linear Algebra (it was at 8:00AM for God sakes! And the teacher had the most bizarre accent!) I got was was so old and 'aged' it got turned into a 'Super-A'. Now I have no idea what a 'Super-A' is, but I assume it is good as it boosted up my GPA to a 4.5, which is impossible.
I think I should mention that to the powers that be...maybe I can get a 'Super-A' for real.
On a side note, our car sucks. It does this weird vibration thing, which I think is the torque converter. After I change the tranny fluid (speaking of the word 'tran', anyone know where you can get wide chick boots in Calgary? I figured a drag queen might know...any queens reading this? BTW this is for someone else...not me...uh huh.) hopefull that will fix the shudder. However, it could cost a lot to get the whole thing fixed, and it was doing some other expensive looking stuff. Damn cars.
Rea has the new job, which pays well to start, so we were thinking that buying a new car might be an option. I think I can get 32 cents for the Civic, and if we put the two dogs and some cash down (that has a sicker double meaning than I was intending...hehe) we can buy this car or this car for fairly reasonable. I realize that this is not my dream car, but it will due for the time being, and it is 'cheap' for a new car. Plus it has a 60 month warrenty. What has a 60 month warrenty these days? Once again, I say...damn cars.
Other than that, this is my last week at the Cubicle Farm (the sequal to Animal Farm, by Orwell. The animals adopt capitalism instead and realize they moved from one cage to another). I feel that I have a fluorescent sunburn, and am happy I can get out of the lime-green glow. I will miss my co-workers, and the money, but hey...it's a work term.
Tonight I have The Final Presentation for the term, and have to do a 15 minute song-and-dance to appease the gods. Going through the boring PowerPoint slides, I am at 14 minutes...if I talk slow enough, and lose my place a few times. I hate PowerPoint...it is the most over used 'Executive Tool' (and I do not use the word tool loosely here) that I have ever seen. Everyone uses the same dumb-ass backgrounds, with the same dumb-ass transitions, with the same dumb-ass clip-art. They are always boring and non-memorable. The same applies to Word...same letter formatting, same resume look. Personally, I think presentations should be mimed...that would be sweet.
Last night, we went to A Major Electronics Retailer to look at a camera, and had a real numbnuts help us. Lets call him 'Shawn' (not his real name). Shawn decided that we didn't need a digicam, and kept asking us questions like "Why do you want a camera?" or "Do you actually take pictures?" or "A film camera is faster, and cheaper". Shawn also said he hasn't taken a picture in 8 years. I will chalk it up to him being young, but hey...do you get commission for not selling stuff now?
Anyhow, back to 'work'.
15 seconds of bandwidth fame...
I've got my pictures ofMagic Red and his band linked directly on their site.... cool.
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last month I applied for a job.
Last week they called me for an interview.
Last afternoon I went for an interview.
It was the best (and most fun) interview I've ever had.
And not even one hour ago, I was called & offered the (permanant) position.
i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job!
Ok I'm a tad excited :-)
Last week they called me for an interview.
Last afternoon I went for an interview.
It was the best (and most fun) interview I've ever had.
And not even one hour ago, I was called & offered the (permanant) position.
i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job! i got the job!
Ok I'm a tad excited :-)
See Mars in Calgary
For the person who asked Yahoo! where to "See Mars in Calgary".
LOOK UP!
(preferably at night)
LOOK UP!
(preferably at night)
Monday, August 25, 2003
Mmmmm...Nachis
Today we have the Nachi worm at work. Everytime I see the word Nachi, my stomach growls, I guess it looks a lot like Nacho. Mmmm...nachos.
Anyhow, my co-worker techie is gleefully running around the office thrilled that he doesn't have to sit at his desk doing boring database stuff. Personally, I like to listen to the ladies next to me giggle/cry inanely because their computers do not work. Many are wondering around with a sort of glazed look on their eyes.
For those who are wondering, the Nachi worm is the anti-virus virus that is going around heroically fighting the SoBig worm (aka Blaster). It exploits the same gaping maw that SoBig does in win2000/XP and will execute without opening an attatchment (well, at least I didn't execute anything). It fixes the file that SoBig corrupts, and in the process spreds itself and makes your computer do 10,000,000 jumping jacks before it reboots. My computer is all sweaty...or is that me?
As of December 31st 2003, the worm valiantly deletes itself, and everyone is the better (what a noble worm). However, IT services does not like any external code on the computers (even good code) so the virus scanners are having a caniption, and no one can work.
I wonder what the computer at home is doing right now...I never bothered to install that Windows patch.
Anyhow, my co-worker techie is gleefully running around the office thrilled that he doesn't have to sit at his desk doing boring database stuff. Personally, I like to listen to the ladies next to me giggle/cry inanely because their computers do not work. Many are wondering around with a sort of glazed look on their eyes.
For those who are wondering, the Nachi worm is the anti-virus virus that is going around heroically fighting the SoBig worm (aka Blaster). It exploits the same gaping maw that SoBig does in win2000/XP and will execute without opening an attatchment (well, at least I didn't execute anything). It fixes the file that SoBig corrupts, and in the process spreds itself and makes your computer do 10,000,000 jumping jacks before it reboots. My computer is all sweaty...or is that me?
As of December 31st 2003, the worm valiantly deletes itself, and everyone is the better (what a noble worm). However, IT services does not like any external code on the computers (even good code) so the virus scanners are having a caniption, and no one can work.
I wonder what the computer at home is doing right now...I never bothered to install that Windows patch.
Grr...
One of my jobs is mail.
Last week a lady who was on vacation supposedly received a piece of mail that I supposedly returned/redirected because I didn't recognize her hyphenated last name (some corrospondance only has her first last name, not both). So today she comes and bites my head off because it was a crucial piece of mail, yadda yadda yadda. My thoughts included such responses as "Well have you received your hyphenated mail since that time? Yes? Then I'd please like my head back because I know about your amazing name. Thanks." but I refrained. I was warned a while back that the mere presence of Jayne's Avon catalog on my desk would provoke this woman (she's the Avon *Nazi* on this floor - I guess I'd be in her pissing ground) so thankfully I can blow her off - it was the boss's secretary that warned me about her snappy attitude.
This woman invites bad karma, mind you, since she preceeded biting my head off by trying to bite the head off the newest ASR who just started last week (even though that ASR wasn't working here yet) because snappy woman thought that the other new gal had misdirected the mail.
So, when the printer jammed and I could see that it was snappy lady's print job that needed rescuing I didn't fix the printer for her (because if prompted I normally will try to fix anything even if it isn't my boo boo).
See snappy woman? Bad karma = no printer fixing for you.
Hyphenate that.
Last week a lady who was on vacation supposedly received a piece of mail that I supposedly returned/redirected because I didn't recognize her hyphenated last name (some corrospondance only has her first last name, not both). So today she comes and bites my head off because it was a crucial piece of mail, yadda yadda yadda. My thoughts included such responses as "Well have you received your hyphenated mail since that time? Yes? Then I'd please like my head back because I know about your amazing name. Thanks." but I refrained. I was warned a while back that the mere presence of Jayne's Avon catalog on my desk would provoke this woman (she's the Avon *Nazi* on this floor - I guess I'd be in her pissing ground) so thankfully I can blow her off - it was the boss's secretary that warned me about her snappy attitude.
This woman invites bad karma, mind you, since she preceeded biting my head off by trying to bite the head off the newest ASR who just started last week (even though that ASR wasn't working here yet) because snappy woman thought that the other new gal had misdirected the mail.
So, when the printer jammed and I could see that it was snappy lady's print job that needed rescuing I didn't fix the printer for her (because if prompted I normally will try to fix anything even if it isn't my boo boo).
See snappy woman? Bad karma = no printer fixing for you.
Hyphenate that.
Saturday, August 23, 2003
Canada Won!
Canada kicked some fireworkkin' ass at Globalfest, and they won first prize for it. Congrats Team Canada! I was surprised to find myself dissapointed with the show samplers from the USA and Mexico, but Mexico did have these really cool fireworks that fizzled out and then came back to life and climbed higher and then went boom.... it was tres cool. I got to get somewhat teary eyed again at a repeat of the "Hero" segment from Canada's performance, and they also did a repeat of Jon Bon Jovi's "Cowboy" with better synchronization that I remember from last night.
But it was cold as hell on that hill and I think I have windburn on my arms. They are tingling with warmth now that I'm sitting in a cozy wind-proof house. We really should have brought a blanket tonight - I'll remember that one for next year. This is going to be a yearly thing they said!
We also had a bit of fun listening to (and interrupting) conversations that were taking place on hand-held radios around the park. We even got to hear park security request that a variety of chit-chatters please find a station other than 14 because it was being used for internal communications. Ooooooohhhhhhh...... I pondered how they would ever *catch* someone interferring with a radio station, but no one seemed to mind finding another channel so there was no ensuing drama.
Parking was even worse tonight, mostly because of a very poorly timed train that cut off all the traffic including about 30 Calgary Transit shuttles. I bet those folks stuck on the bus were at least glad to be warm, even if it meant being rather close to one another for a while.
Only a few pedestrians had death wishes, but fortunatly none of them suceeded. Stupid pedestrians.
We're home now.
Jon is now lying on the floor in a puddle. Molly is contemplating licking his ear I think, or maybe she's just challenging Ginger to a run up and down the hallway... I hope they get rid of all their energy so they can sleep soundly tonight. I'm thinking I will want to sleep in tomorrow!
See you at next year's Globalfest fireworks! G'night.
But it was cold as hell on that hill and I think I have windburn on my arms. They are tingling with warmth now that I'm sitting in a cozy wind-proof house. We really should have brought a blanket tonight - I'll remember that one for next year. This is going to be a yearly thing they said!
We also had a bit of fun listening to (and interrupting) conversations that were taking place on hand-held radios around the park. We even got to hear park security request that a variety of chit-chatters please find a station other than 14 because it was being used for internal communications. Ooooooohhhhhhh...... I pondered how they would ever *catch* someone interferring with a radio station, but no one seemed to mind finding another channel so there was no ensuing drama.
Parking was even worse tonight, mostly because of a very poorly timed train that cut off all the traffic including about 30 Calgary Transit shuttles. I bet those folks stuck on the bus were at least glad to be warm, even if it meant being rather close to one another for a while.
Only a few pedestrians had death wishes, but fortunatly none of them suceeded. Stupid pedestrians.
We're home now.
Jon is now lying on the floor in a puddle. Molly is contemplating licking his ear I think, or maybe she's just challenging Ginger to a run up and down the hallway... I hope they get rid of all their energy so they can sleep soundly tonight. I'm thinking I will want to sleep in tomorrow!
See you at next year's Globalfest fireworks! G'night.
Welcome Home Cheryl!
I hear that my good friend Cheryl is back in town for a few days on vacation from Korea... her brother is getting married! I'm looking forward to seeing her as soon as possible - maybe have some red wine together.
Cheers!
Cheers!
Last night's Fireworks were amazing.
Go team Canada!
Tonight is the fireworks finale. Jon and I have our tickets for tonight's finale, which is good becuase otherwise we'd have to line up at 6:30 at the gate since everywhere else's advanced sales tickets are alllll gone.
More lessons learned: Thank god we took the camping chairs and coats and food. All we needed was repellant (mind you we didn't get bit) and maybe blankets... and of course I could have taken some amazing shots with a proper camera.
Oh, if you are going tonight and are hoping to take pictures, please don't bother with a flash, k? If you want the pictures to turn out, get a mini tripod or brace yourself for each shot, because the odds of the photo turning out are much better. I know that half of the pictures taken last night not only goofed up our show lighting a tad, but they will probably be focused on the tip of buddy's head 15 feet away rather than the fireworks in the far distance. So, turn off the flash.
There wasn't tons to do on site unless you were a kid or wanted to pay $$$ to go in the beer garden, so we sat on a hill waiting patiently, watching the clowns on stilts, and the cops on bikes. The further hill (from the entrance) gave us the best perspective with a nearly unobstructed view including the reflections off the water. The promotional banter for the 25 minutes prior to the show was redundant and cheesy, but someone has to pay the bills I suppose. The Canadian anthem ended with a firey TransCanada logo just in time to salute commercialism. Ugh. Finally at 9:35 (a little later die to sound trouble at first) the show began.
Fireworks to music are a fantastic sight... as much as I don't like Enrique Iglasias (???) I actually teared up when the song Hero was so well timed to beautiful fireworks. I'm such a chick sometimes! Other songs used included a piece of the score of Back to the Future, The Pink Panther, and Let it Rain. Everything was well timed, well thought out, colourful, and breath-taking overall. The 1000's of people moving out of the park afterwards almost all had smiles on their faces :-)
Parking, btw, was in a dirt field with one bottleneck entrance/exit and was just begging for the crushing of some small child.... take care if you pay the $5 to park, it's tense in there afterwards!
I hope Canada wins, even though I didn't see any of the other performances. Any team that can have a firework that pops in the shape of a heart ought to win *something*. :-)
See y'all tonight!
Tonight is the fireworks finale. Jon and I have our tickets for tonight's finale, which is good becuase otherwise we'd have to line up at 6:30 at the gate since everywhere else's advanced sales tickets are alllll gone.
More lessons learned: Thank god we took the camping chairs and coats and food. All we needed was repellant (mind you we didn't get bit) and maybe blankets... and of course I could have taken some amazing shots with a proper camera.
Oh, if you are going tonight and are hoping to take pictures, please don't bother with a flash, k? If you want the pictures to turn out, get a mini tripod or brace yourself for each shot, because the odds of the photo turning out are much better. I know that half of the pictures taken last night not only goofed up our show lighting a tad, but they will probably be focused on the tip of buddy's head 15 feet away rather than the fireworks in the far distance. So, turn off the flash.
There wasn't tons to do on site unless you were a kid or wanted to pay $$$ to go in the beer garden, so we sat on a hill waiting patiently, watching the clowns on stilts, and the cops on bikes. The further hill (from the entrance) gave us the best perspective with a nearly unobstructed view including the reflections off the water. The promotional banter for the 25 minutes prior to the show was redundant and cheesy, but someone has to pay the bills I suppose. The Canadian anthem ended with a firey TransCanada logo just in time to salute commercialism. Ugh. Finally at 9:35 (a little later die to sound trouble at first) the show began.
Fireworks to music are a fantastic sight... as much as I don't like Enrique Iglasias (???) I actually teared up when the song Hero was so well timed to beautiful fireworks. I'm such a chick sometimes! Other songs used included a piece of the score of Back to the Future, The Pink Panther, and Let it Rain. Everything was well timed, well thought out, colourful, and breath-taking overall. The 1000's of people moving out of the park afterwards almost all had smiles on their faces :-)
Parking, btw, was in a dirt field with one bottleneck entrance/exit and was just begging for the crushing of some small child.... take care if you pay the $5 to park, it's tense in there afterwards!
I hope Canada wins, even though I didn't see any of the other performances. Any team that can have a firework that pops in the shape of a heart ought to win *something*. :-)
See y'all tonight!
Friday, August 22, 2003
Comet Cursor sucks ass
The computer I'm sitting at today has comet cursor installed and since it's not mine I can't really uninstall this magnificant piece of spyware.
Nor can I change the moust pointer to something other than a hummingbird. It's bizarre, really.
Nor can I change the moust pointer to something other than a hummingbird. It's bizarre, really.
That is Mr. Lab Monitor to You!
Today I had an interview with the head of the lab monitors here at the school. I would guess you would call him the Uber-Geek. Anyhow, the interview went well until he asked me some computer related questions. If it had been "How do you create a linked list in C++?" or "How does the Supervisor right flow in regards to Novell Netware 5.1?" I would have totally slammed him. Those are easy!
However, this is one of his questions:
"How do you display more than one slide per page with PowerPoint?"
Huh...?
I know you can do this, because I have seen it done and have indeed done it myself. The problem is that I have not touched PP in more than a year. So now I look like an idiot...I told him the wrong answer (actually, what is the answer?). I think I might have saved myself by saying I would look in the helpfile if I didn't know how to do the required task, but still...its POWERPOINT!! GRRR ARRGHH!!!
Hopefully my previous lab/tech experience will permit me to get hired for the job, and I can stop worrying about the prospect of self-imposed unemployment during the remaining school year.
However, this is one of his questions:
"How do you display more than one slide per page with PowerPoint?"
Huh...?
I know you can do this, because I have seen it done and have indeed done it myself. The problem is that I have not touched PP in more than a year. So now I look like an idiot...I told him the wrong answer (actually, what is the answer?). I think I might have saved myself by saying I would look in the helpfile if I didn't know how to do the required task, but still...its POWERPOINT!! GRRR ARRGHH!!!
Hopefully my previous lab/tech experience will permit me to get hired for the job, and I can stop worrying about the prospect of self-imposed unemployment during the remaining school year.
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Distractions galore.
There's a fair amount of work that I could be doing right now, but I am drawn to blogger like a moth to a flame. The problem with blogging is that there's all this pressure to perform: most of my search enging hits this week are for people looking up Globalfest information. I've got all these potential readers poking in out of curiosity, and now I wonder that I can say that will turn them on to the world of blogs. I don't care much if there are regular readers for *my* blog, (but thats always nice of course) but I'd like to encourage the world to jot their thoughts too... and to realize that there are a lot of smart people in the world that everyday offer bits and pieces for others to ponder.
I feel like I might be a 'blog missionary' (if there were such a thing) because it is so important for people to think, observe, and try to look at the world from someone else's shoes. Blogging lets you speak, listen, and learn!
It's a weakness of mine - always throwing out plugs for my favourite things.
On that note, things I like to plug are listed along the sidebar of my blog and include Blogging, Taco salads at Baraka, The Art of Shen Ku, and the latin festival at Olympic plaza this weekend (where they will be setting up a huge dancing area on Sunday - go watch the Tango/Salsa/ChaCha in action!)
Holy global-village weekend Batman!
I feel like I might be a 'blog missionary' (if there were such a thing) because it is so important for people to think, observe, and try to look at the world from someone else's shoes. Blogging lets you speak, listen, and learn!
It's a weakness of mine - always throwing out plugs for my favourite things.
On that note, things I like to plug are listed along the sidebar of my blog and include Blogging, Taco salads at Baraka, The Art of Shen Ku, and the latin festival at Olympic plaza this weekend (where they will be setting up a huge dancing area on Sunday - go watch the Tango/Salsa/ChaCha in action!)
Holy global-village weekend Batman!
Fireworkkin'
A co-worker attended the fireworks last night and says they are fantastic - she wants to go again tonight!
Advice for folks going tonight or in the next few days? Get there early, and fork out the $5 to get nearby parking. Yes, I know they say that there is no parking but really it's just that there is no free parking on site. My coworker also said that Transit looked like a frickin' zoo and she was sure they would riot by the end of the evening... and even if no rioting happened I bet Transit would have SUCKED.
So we're gonna drive and take our little padded camping mat/chairs, a thermos of cocoa, a blanket, and we're gonna get there early. Apparently there's lots to do in the fireworks viewing area to pass the time. If you're sillly enough to get there at just 9pm then you probably deserve to be stressed out.
What have I learned then? Pay to park, and get there around 7pm. This ought to make it the easiest to have stress-free firework viewing pleasure.
I love being prepared.
Advice for folks going tonight or in the next few days? Get there early, and fork out the $5 to get nearby parking. Yes, I know they say that there is no parking but really it's just that there is no free parking on site. My coworker also said that Transit looked like a frickin' zoo and she was sure they would riot by the end of the evening... and even if no rioting happened I bet Transit would have SUCKED.
So we're gonna drive and take our little padded camping mat/chairs, a thermos of cocoa, a blanket, and we're gonna get there early. Apparently there's lots to do in the fireworks viewing area to pass the time. If you're sillly enough to get there at just 9pm then you probably deserve to be stressed out.
What have I learned then? Pay to park, and get there around 7pm. This ought to make it the easiest to have stress-free firework viewing pleasure.
I love being prepared.
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
I had better wear protection
I just got an alert from the Help Desk here at work that we are being attacked by the SoBig virus and the Lovsan worm (aka Blaster).
People if you get an email with two file extensions (myass.exe.pif). DO NOT OPEN IT.
It isn't that hard. Think before you click.
I nearly typed: Think before you clink. Too funny.
People if you get an email with two file extensions (myass.exe.pif). DO NOT OPEN IT.
It isn't that hard. Think before you click.
I nearly typed: Think before you clink. Too funny.
Stupid Cupid
I have a disease. One might say, an addiction. An addiction to Cupid. For those who have not seen this show before here is the premise:
- Good looking woman Lisa, two bitchy-ho-ugly-gold-diggers Laura and Kimberly
- Choice of various men from various cities
- Marriage
- One million dollars
- America gets to choose
Basically, Lisa picked 10 guys from various cities that she liked (the guys, not the cities). Now they have to do Man-Stunts (impress Lisa with their charms) to gain favor from the two bitchy-ho-ugly-gold-diggers and the rest of America. It is one of those "Call In To Vote" shows. Being that I live in Canada, I can't call, and my hands are tied.
I would say about 80% of group of guys Lisa picked were nice, the other 20% were along the lines of "a little creepy". Not "eat your future children creepy", but kind of socially inept to the point of creepiness. I wonder how she ever thought these guys were worth it, maybe they had "buldgy" pants...if you know what I mean ;-)
This show is really fun to watch, especially the nice guys that truly are a good catch. However, there is this Austrian dude Robert who is quite nice, and really tries but is just completely and utterly clueless. Everytime he talks the two bitchy-ho-ugly-gold-diggers they rip him a rhetorical new asshole. Personally I don't think he is a good guy inside, but hey, I am not into Buff Austrian Hairless Men.
The other guy Ken has the personality of a casket (sure it looks nice outside, but what's in it is really creepy). This guy is as self-centred as the bitchy-ho-ugly-gold-diggers make him out to be, and constantly proves this by talking about himself all the time and taking Lisa on dumb dates. He tries, but I don't think he is fit for human interaction. Maybe he should go out with an undertaker or something (no offence to undertakers).
Basically this all boils down to America has no-fucking-clue.
None.
Zip.
Zilch.
Nada.
They voted off one of the nicest guys. And left the Robert and Ken. In fact, Robert and Ken didn't even make it to the bottom three, those three were guys Lisa really liked. Why did these two creepazoids end up getting to stay? In their little "Impress the Girl" skits this week, they had to play with kids, and show Lisa what a good dad they would be. Robert basically 'assualted' Lisa on public television by forcing her to kiss him. Ken was just weird, it involved the kids literally "Whipping" him into shape for marriage. Totally flawed logic.
These two created probably "The Most Uncomfortable Moments Caught on Tape". I couldn't watch, it made me queasy. Lisa, in the end was really really pissed off that one of the guys she liked got voted off, and she was left with Baron Von Robert and Ken The Guy Who Likes to Get Whipped By Kids.
Oh yea right, in the end she has to marry one of these guys for a year to get the money. I bet there is some meme out there growing that is going to cause America to vote off everyone except those two guys and create a duel. A duel to make The Most Uncomfortable Moment in Human History.
- Good looking woman Lisa, two bitchy-ho-ugly-gold-diggers Laura and Kimberly
- Choice of various men from various cities
- Marriage
- One million dollars
- America gets to choose
Basically, Lisa picked 10 guys from various cities that she liked (the guys, not the cities). Now they have to do Man-Stunts (impress Lisa with their charms) to gain favor from the two bitchy-ho-ugly-gold-diggers and the rest of America. It is one of those "Call In To Vote" shows. Being that I live in Canada, I can't call, and my hands are tied.
I would say about 80% of group of guys Lisa picked were nice, the other 20% were along the lines of "a little creepy". Not "eat your future children creepy", but kind of socially inept to the point of creepiness. I wonder how she ever thought these guys were worth it, maybe they had "buldgy" pants...if you know what I mean ;-)
This show is really fun to watch, especially the nice guys that truly are a good catch. However, there is this Austrian dude Robert who is quite nice, and really tries but is just completely and utterly clueless. Everytime he talks the two bitchy-ho-ugly-gold-diggers they rip him a rhetorical new asshole. Personally I don't think he is a good guy inside, but hey, I am not into Buff Austrian Hairless Men.
The other guy Ken has the personality of a casket (sure it looks nice outside, but what's in it is really creepy). This guy is as self-centred as the bitchy-ho-ugly-gold-diggers make him out to be, and constantly proves this by talking about himself all the time and taking Lisa on dumb dates. He tries, but I don't think he is fit for human interaction. Maybe he should go out with an undertaker or something (no offence to undertakers).
Basically this all boils down to America has no-fucking-clue.
None.
Zip.
Zilch.
Nada.
They voted off one of the nicest guys. And left the Robert and Ken. In fact, Robert and Ken didn't even make it to the bottom three, those three were guys Lisa really liked. Why did these two creepazoids end up getting to stay? In their little "Impress the Girl" skits this week, they had to play with kids, and show Lisa what a good dad they would be. Robert basically 'assualted' Lisa on public television by forcing her to kiss him. Ken was just weird, it involved the kids literally "Whipping" him into shape for marriage. Totally flawed logic.
These two created probably "The Most Uncomfortable Moments Caught on Tape". I couldn't watch, it made me queasy. Lisa, in the end was really really pissed off that one of the guys she liked got voted off, and she was left with Baron Von Robert and Ken The Guy Who Likes to Get Whipped By Kids.
Oh yea right, in the end she has to marry one of these guys for a year to get the money. I bet there is some meme out there growing that is going to cause America to vote off everyone except those two guys and create a duel. A duel to make The Most Uncomfortable Moment in Human History.
Observation.
One's clevage is always more drastic when one is looking at one's own clevage.
I guess I'm not showing off as much boob as I was worried I was. That's good, right?
I guess I'm not showing off as much boob as I was worried I was. That's good, right?
Hold please....
The hold music for the City's IT help line is nature sounds with whales.
Like that's gonna make an irate Civil Servant any calmer, you can't hum along with whales. Duh.
;-)
Like that's gonna make an irate Civil Servant any calmer, you can't hum along with whales. Duh.
;-)
Cleaning the Matrix (Jon Should be Working)
I stepped outside in the hall to go to the bathroom (we pee in the hall here at work) and I looked to my right. Walking down the hall were about 10 cleaning ladies with blue smocks pulling carpet cleaning machines. Incidently That One Song from the Matrix soundtrack with the piano was playing over and over in my head, and I thought it was kind of funny. They looked like they were going to kick some carpet ass. That carpet won't know what hit it.
:-p
:-p
Someday, Jon will get his own ID
****Begin Transmission****
Note:
- Guy currently in LA that called me and left a message. No, I do not know anyone that is Spanish and speaks with broken english. Why he gave you my number I do not know, but thanks for leaving a message. Also, I will not be calling you back because I deleted your message.
- Man in the Jeep Cherokee that was behind me in Douglasdale. I know I was going "The Speed Limit", but I can see how driving 3 inches from my bumper makes your One Giant Swollen Testosterone Pumping Nut even more giant and swollen. Now, back off...get your own sandwich.
- People in the office. Unless I have spoken to you more than one time or you are in my work team, I do not know your name. There are 60 of you and one of me, and thankfully since I am only one of three guys in the office, you all know who I am. From now until the end of this job assignment you will be reffered to as "You" and "That One Lady With ______".
- Old homeless man with broken walker near City Hall. Would you like a new walker? I am sure I can find one second hand, otherwise you are going to have a broken hip to match the broken walker.
- People who ride bikes but think they are cars. You might have the same legal entitlement of car or truck, but take a physics class. You: 200 pounds of easily stoppable metal and meat. Me 2000 pounds of steel and a little bit of Jon meat. Don't think I can stop quickly or read your mind.
- Silly bird that flew in my way. Please note, I will cause a 20 car pileup to save one robin of less than average intelligence. I will not listen to Rea when she say's "It will get out of the way". Please do not fly in my way. If you are indeed a robin reading this post, I don't think you have a problem.
- Lady at condo showhome. I realize you are in need of business, but what part of "In the Future We Are Looking To Get A Place" do you not understand? As much as I would like to have $160,000 to drop on a less than quality home I do not, so do not ask for my number and do not try to have me pick out a location.
- Suicide bombers that blew up UN building in Iraq (if they have High Speed Internet Access wherever you are). Thanks for blowing up the International Regulation Body that had any sympathy for the Iraqi people. Thanks for killing a few more Americans, Canadians, Brazlians and incidently a few more Iraqis.
- Canadian Immigration Service. Next time you decide to change the policy in regards to my documents, please send me a notice in the mail, or radio, or tv, or sky writing. As long as I know well before hand that I need to get the Spiffy New Card so I can get back into the country I will be happy to pay the extra $50.00 to get it.
****End Transmission****
Note:
- Guy currently in LA that called me and left a message. No, I do not know anyone that is Spanish and speaks with broken english. Why he gave you my number I do not know, but thanks for leaving a message. Also, I will not be calling you back because I deleted your message.
- Man in the Jeep Cherokee that was behind me in Douglasdale. I know I was going "The Speed Limit", but I can see how driving 3 inches from my bumper makes your One Giant Swollen Testosterone Pumping Nut even more giant and swollen. Now, back off...get your own sandwich.
- People in the office. Unless I have spoken to you more than one time or you are in my work team, I do not know your name. There are 60 of you and one of me, and thankfully since I am only one of three guys in the office, you all know who I am. From now until the end of this job assignment you will be reffered to as "You" and "That One Lady With ______".
- Old homeless man with broken walker near City Hall. Would you like a new walker? I am sure I can find one second hand, otherwise you are going to have a broken hip to match the broken walker.
- People who ride bikes but think they are cars. You might have the same legal entitlement of car or truck, but take a physics class. You: 200 pounds of easily stoppable metal and meat. Me 2000 pounds of steel and a little bit of Jon meat. Don't think I can stop quickly or read your mind.
- Silly bird that flew in my way. Please note, I will cause a 20 car pileup to save one robin of less than average intelligence. I will not listen to Rea when she say's "It will get out of the way". Please do not fly in my way. If you are indeed a robin reading this post, I don't think you have a problem.
- Lady at condo showhome. I realize you are in need of business, but what part of "In the Future We Are Looking To Get A Place" do you not understand? As much as I would like to have $160,000 to drop on a less than quality home I do not, so do not ask for my number and do not try to have me pick out a location.
- Suicide bombers that blew up UN building in Iraq (if they have High Speed Internet Access wherever you are). Thanks for blowing up the International Regulation Body that had any sympathy for the Iraqi people. Thanks for killing a few more Americans, Canadians, Brazlians and incidently a few more Iraqis.
- Canadian Immigration Service. Next time you decide to change the policy in regards to my documents, please send me a notice in the mail, or radio, or tv, or sky writing. As long as I know well before hand that I need to get the Spiffy New Card so I can get back into the country I will be happy to pay the extra $50.00 to get it.
****End Transmission****
(I'm getting it ready for when I have a moment....)
1. What if you could create your own animal -- what would it be like, and what would you name it?
2. What if you could create your own plant?
3. What if you could create your own car?
4. What if you could create your own island?
5. What if you could create your own planet?
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Idoling Canadians (by Jon)
Today while being extremely bored at work (I have just tapped out www.straightdope.com) I decided what sort of firey hoops I have to jump through to become a Canadian citizen. Thats right...I am an American. A hotty American, but an American just the same. Apparently I have been a landed immigrant for two years now, and since my previous time in Canada applies I can now go for the gold, Canadian citizenship.
Now many of you might be asking "Why would you want to become an Canadian Jon?". Well, first off all, I get a passport. Being that we want to travel all sorts of places some time in the future, I thinking having a Crown on my papers is a lot safer than an Eagle. Due to technicalities I do not have to give up my American citizenship, and I can have a dual cizitzenship. Of course if the US ever decided to invade The Great White North I might have a conflict of interest...we shall see.
Another benefit of becomming a Canadian citizen is that I can actually vote. Sure, I could vote in the States, but since I don't live there, why should I care? I think that is the attitude that I had during the last election, and look what a circus my home state (Florida) became. So, if I become a citizen I can vote, and help decide what sort of things the taxes I pay go towards. Funny how I have less rights than prisoners, and about the same as the mentally ill. Yay for me!
To gain this status I need to take a test.
I am quite impressed with the difficulty of the questions. I guess they just don't want any riff-raff becoming permanant.
Here are some of the easy ones:
What does the Canadian flag look like?
What is the capital city of Canada?
Who is Canada's Head of State?
Duh...
Wait...they get harder!
When did settlers from France first establish communities on the St. Lawrence River?
From whom are the Métis descended?
Some, I think, are not even answerable:
What do political parties do? (yea right)
I am not sure how long this process takes, but most of the questions I think were purged from the minds of most Canadians the second they got out of highschool Canadian History. I bet if I get all of them right, I get to be Prime Minister!
Sweet...
Now many of you might be asking "Why would you want to become an Canadian Jon?". Well, first off all, I get a passport. Being that we want to travel all sorts of places some time in the future, I thinking having a Crown on my papers is a lot safer than an Eagle. Due to technicalities I do not have to give up my American citizenship, and I can have a dual cizitzenship. Of course if the US ever decided to invade The Great White North I might have a conflict of interest...we shall see.
Another benefit of becomming a Canadian citizen is that I can actually vote. Sure, I could vote in the States, but since I don't live there, why should I care? I think that is the attitude that I had during the last election, and look what a circus my home state (Florida) became. So, if I become a citizen I can vote, and help decide what sort of things the taxes I pay go towards. Funny how I have less rights than prisoners, and about the same as the mentally ill. Yay for me!
To gain this status I need to take a test.
I am quite impressed with the difficulty of the questions. I guess they just don't want any riff-raff becoming permanant.
Here are some of the easy ones:
What does the Canadian flag look like?
What is the capital city of Canada?
Who is Canada's Head of State?
Duh...
Wait...they get harder!
When did settlers from France first establish communities on the St. Lawrence River?
From whom are the Métis descended?
Some, I think, are not even answerable:
What do political parties do? (yea right)
I am not sure how long this process takes, but most of the questions I think were purged from the minds of most Canadians the second they got out of highschool Canadian History. I bet if I get all of them right, I get to be Prime Minister!
Sweet...
Monday, August 18, 2003
I've created a monster....
Jon and I went to check out cookie-cutter show homes this weekend to see what might be in our far future with regards to moving out of the parental unit. We walked through a few 1,200 sq foot places and decided we liked the one that looked a lot like a double-wide-made-into-a-home. I liked the layout and it's not too big - but we'd have to develop the basement ASAP so as to have more than one and a half rooms.
It's amazing how many things there are to think about when it comes to finding, buying, moving into, furnishing, and living in a home. Everything from bath towels to doggie-doors must be thought about, and it's not like we can move in till late next year anyways.... but it's kinda fun.
Even in the 14 hours since the show-home tours Jon wants to think of every penny we don't spend as pennies towards a new couch or computer desk or lawnmower. So, tonight we're going grocery shopping and I'll make a strong effort to not buy my lunch or any of that other it-adds-up crap one might purchase during an average work day.
But the hazelnut-vanilla coffee was so good in the morning.... wah!
Now we're going to be up for a lot more picnics and BBQ's rather than going out for dinner, so who is up for a gathering at my humble abode for BBQ sometime? Or maybe fish creek? Bowness?
I guess we could tune up our bikes in preparation for not going expensive places - even though summer is coming to a close in the next month or two we can still haul our fat asses out onto bikes until it snows at least. And lord knows Jon has a nice bike that deserves to be loved. Sarah knows too.
Jon and I will be going to the fireworks competition on Friday and Saturday. I'm dreading the commute (no parking, take transit, we'll have 74 yr old Grandma along...eeps!) but this is indeed the affordable sort of entertainment one can take in when saving pennies towards a new home (or an old home, we're not totally decided yet of course).
I'm still going to buy a digital camera, mind you. I'm craving it daily, and talk about fireworks (that would photograph well with the camera we want) makes me crave even more. It's very non-Buddhist of me....
I have less than an hours work to do sitting in front of me, and over an hour to do it. That makes me happy.
Happy Monday!
It's amazing how many things there are to think about when it comes to finding, buying, moving into, furnishing, and living in a home. Everything from bath towels to doggie-doors must be thought about, and it's not like we can move in till late next year anyways.... but it's kinda fun.
Even in the 14 hours since the show-home tours Jon wants to think of every penny we don't spend as pennies towards a new couch or computer desk or lawnmower. So, tonight we're going grocery shopping and I'll make a strong effort to not buy my lunch or any of that other it-adds-up crap one might purchase during an average work day.
But the hazelnut-vanilla coffee was so good in the morning.... wah!
Now we're going to be up for a lot more picnics and BBQ's rather than going out for dinner, so who is up for a gathering at my humble abode for BBQ sometime? Or maybe fish creek? Bowness?
I guess we could tune up our bikes in preparation for not going expensive places - even though summer is coming to a close in the next month or two we can still haul our fat asses out onto bikes until it snows at least. And lord knows Jon has a nice bike that deserves to be loved. Sarah knows too.
Jon and I will be going to the fireworks competition on Friday and Saturday. I'm dreading the commute (no parking, take transit, we'll have 74 yr old Grandma along...eeps!) but this is indeed the affordable sort of entertainment one can take in when saving pennies towards a new home (or an old home, we're not totally decided yet of course).
I'm still going to buy a digital camera, mind you. I'm craving it daily, and talk about fireworks (that would photograph well with the camera we want) makes me crave even more. It's very non-Buddhist of me....
I have less than an hours work to do sitting in front of me, and over an hour to do it. That makes me happy.
Happy Monday!
The mail guy is late....
So I'm gonna say Hi!
Sis painted & rearranged her room over the weekend, but unfortunatly most of her room is still rearranged all over the basement and in the walking path to our room. It's like she purposfully didn't do a complete job - in Trading Spaces they clean up after themselves BEFORE they dissapear to the BF's place or to read for hours and hours in a cave.
My standards for her *are* sometimes higher than they are for myself, but it's a worthy Monday morning rant when the mail guy is late.
Off I go to open a ton of envelopes yet again!
Sis painted & rearranged her room over the weekend, but unfortunatly most of her room is still rearranged all over the basement and in the walking path to our room. It's like she purposfully didn't do a complete job - in Trading Spaces they clean up after themselves BEFORE they dissapear to the BF's place or to read for hours and hours in a cave.
My standards for her *are* sometimes higher than they are for myself, but it's a worthy Monday morning rant when the mail guy is late.
Off I go to open a ton of envelopes yet again!
Friday, August 15, 2003
Movie Time!
Dirty Pretty Things
And it's got wicked reviews. I'm excited!
We're going at 9:50! Care to join us?
Westhills
Friday - Thursday 1:20 4:10 7:35 9:50
Plot SummaryWhen an illegal Nigerian immigrant (Ejiofor) working as a night porter at a posh London hotel stumbles across evidence of a bizarre murder (which may involve a famous surgeon), he teams up with a Turkish chambermaid (Tautou), and a Chinese prostitute (Okonedo) to solve the crime.
And it's got wicked reviews. I'm excited!
We're going at 9:50! Care to join us?
evil weebles
I think either I should have my own blog, or Rea should give me an admin account so I can post under my own name. I guess inactivity breeds boredom which breeds wandering minds but I have been posting more than Mrs. In Calgary has!
Anyhow, I think I am going to title all my posts with a disturbing search request from now on. Nothing is better for causing "cubicle giggles" than Disturbing Search Requests. I am guessing that 99% of the people reading this are bloggers, and probably have seen DSR before, but if you haven't go take a look, and make sure you boss is not nearby to hear the cackles.
J-Dawg
Anyhow, I think I am going to title all my posts with a disturbing search request from now on. Nothing is better for causing "cubicle giggles" than Disturbing Search Requests. I am guessing that 99% of the people reading this are bloggers, and probably have seen DSR before, but if you haven't go take a look, and make sure you boss is not nearby to hear the cackles.
J-Dawg
The lady next cubicle over (Jon Guest Blogging)
As I was sitting here this fine smokey morning in my gray-colored super-cubicle the lady next to me was making a few phone calls. Considering there are no walls in this place, I can hear every word that is spoken...which often leads to some funny instances of "You have a 1.7 GPA, and you wonder why you can't get into Microbiological Sciences?" or something like that. Anyhow, this lady has been having some problems with her kid running away, smoking dope, etc etc. You know, what 95% of all teenagers do...what does she expect?
Today she was calling various hospitals and drug stores looking to see if she can get a "Home Marijuana Test". Granted she is concerned about her kid, but how is this going to help? Obviously she can't get him to admit that he is smoking dope, so she needs some sort of proof, thus the purchasing of the "Home Marijuana Test". I am assuming it works on some sort of urine specimen, and it requires the kid to evacuate his bladder when she tells him to. What makes her think that if he isn't going to admit he smokes that he is going to go for this test? Isn't it going to drive him away further? What is the friggin' point? The stuff is almost legal here in Canada so why even bother wasting your time. She isn't even testing to see if he is drinking booze, a vice that causes considerably more stupid behavoir in young males than dope does. Maybe she should be testing to see if he doesn't have any STDs that he could give to his girlfriend, or perhaps she could test his IQ and possible boost his confidence...but no she has to test the thing she is most afraid of, what the media tells her to be afraid of.
I could hear the fear and humiliation in her voice as she called these places. I think it is great that she is confronting this kid, but don't be an idiot about it...please. I wonder if she realizes nearly EVERYONE smokes pot at least once in their life, and never go to do anything more dangerous. Perhaps if she put some trust in her kid, and had some 'open communication' then she wouldn't be calling Shoppers Drugmart at 8:00AM and asking if they have a product that will further alienate her son from his family. I wonder if she expects he is going to turn around and become a missionary in Africa after he realizes that he did drugs...
I think my Grandmother said it best (paraphrasing here) "The second you say 'my kid would never do that' they will go and do it". My Mom lived by this model, and basically let me figure out what was right and wrong through experience. I made a few mistakes, but we had open communication that allowed me see what I was doing wrong, and realize it. I would really hate to see my future kids possibly hurt themselves and make mistakes, but I also realize that it is part of the learning process. No one makes it from that day of your 13th birthday and the last day of your 19th year without making some bad judgement calls. I think parents need to realize that.
Today she was calling various hospitals and drug stores looking to see if she can get a "Home Marijuana Test". Granted she is concerned about her kid, but how is this going to help? Obviously she can't get him to admit that he is smoking dope, so she needs some sort of proof, thus the purchasing of the "Home Marijuana Test". I am assuming it works on some sort of urine specimen, and it requires the kid to evacuate his bladder when she tells him to. What makes her think that if he isn't going to admit he smokes that he is going to go for this test? Isn't it going to drive him away further? What is the friggin' point? The stuff is almost legal here in Canada so why even bother wasting your time. She isn't even testing to see if he is drinking booze, a vice that causes considerably more stupid behavoir in young males than dope does. Maybe she should be testing to see if he doesn't have any STDs that he could give to his girlfriend, or perhaps she could test his IQ and possible boost his confidence...but no she has to test the thing she is most afraid of, what the media tells her to be afraid of.
I could hear the fear and humiliation in her voice as she called these places. I think it is great that she is confronting this kid, but don't be an idiot about it...please. I wonder if she realizes nearly EVERYONE smokes pot at least once in their life, and never go to do anything more dangerous. Perhaps if she put some trust in her kid, and had some 'open communication' then she wouldn't be calling Shoppers Drugmart at 8:00AM and asking if they have a product that will further alienate her son from his family. I wonder if she expects he is going to turn around and become a missionary in Africa after he realizes that he did drugs...
I think my Grandmother said it best (paraphrasing here) "The second you say 'my kid would never do that' they will go and do it". My Mom lived by this model, and basically let me figure out what was right and wrong through experience. I made a few mistakes, but we had open communication that allowed me see what I was doing wrong, and realize it. I would really hate to see my future kids possibly hurt themselves and make mistakes, but I also realize that it is part of the learning process. No one makes it from that day of your 13th birthday and the last day of your 19th year without making some bad judgement calls. I think parents need to realize that.
Thursday, August 14, 2003
Sneaking in a post....
I got to watch a bit of a drug bust out at Olympic Plaza this afternoon.... buddy was dumb enough to resist arrest (and the others in the crowd vanished on cue) so he got wrestled down on a bench and cuffed. The cop had a really cute plainclothes spotter that kept watch out for others while #5 New Jersey (that's what the busted guy's shirt said); that made it really easy to keep watching like a rubber-necker on the Deerfoot... tee hee.
Eventually the cop escorted buddy away and there were no more grungy folk to be seen.
I guess this is one-up for the cops, but wasn't it really dumb for these guys to be anywhere near Olympic Plaza two days after an alderperson witnessed shots fired there? If there's anything I've noticed working within the City's walls is that if you want something done, gripe at your alderperson.
Maybe those guys don't read the news?
As for the griping at your aldermanic representative, this works really well for complaints about your neighbour. I know this because I get to staple a little red "PRIORITY" card to each complaint forwarded from an alderperson whereas joe-blow's complaint called in gets put in the rather long complaint que.
Yup, I'm in the Whine & Cheese department, as well as the property development compliances area. It's a bowl full of cherries I tell ya, but at least the people in the office are all nice and helpful.
Now I've got to be getting back to that huge pile of data-entry I've got waiting for me.
Hold me back.
Eventually the cop escorted buddy away and there were no more grungy folk to be seen.
I guess this is one-up for the cops, but wasn't it really dumb for these guys to be anywhere near Olympic Plaza two days after an alderperson witnessed shots fired there? If there's anything I've noticed working within the City's walls is that if you want something done, gripe at your alderperson.
Maybe those guys don't read the news?
As for the griping at your aldermanic representative, this works really well for complaints about your neighbour. I know this because I get to staple a little red "PRIORITY" card to each complaint forwarded from an alderperson whereas joe-blow's complaint called in gets put in the rather long complaint que.
Yup, I'm in the Whine & Cheese department, as well as the property development compliances area. It's a bowl full of cherries I tell ya, but at least the people in the office are all nice and helpful.
Now I've got to be getting back to that huge pile of data-entry I've got waiting for me.
Hold me back.
Calgary Transit - Have I complained about this yet? (Jon Guest Blogging)
Today, since the Civic is in the shop, we had to take the bus. It is amazing how quickly one's brain dumps all information about horrible experiences, and today I got a refresher course on 'How Much I Hate Calgary Transit'.
While growing up in Merritt Island (ya mon, I lived on an island...) Florida we had no public transit, just Big Yellow Cheese Wagons and taxis operated by people with more fingers than teeth. Basically you had to rely on your vehicle otherwise you would live like a hermit eating expired kitty-food found in the dumpster behind the local mega-grocery store. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Apparently now there is a bus that makes four stops a day from the local nursing home to the mall down the street, because you know how much people with Senile Dementia love to go shopping at the dollar store. Note, you have to make an appointment for the bus to pick you up...sweet deal, eh?.
With this prior experience I initially thought that Calgary's transit system was something handed down from god-on-high (God is high...that explains the platypus). I always thought it was so neat to be able to stumble out of the house, onto a bus, and end up somewhere sometime in the future. How wrong could I be...
Basically, I think the Human Resources department at the Good Ole' Calgary Transit make a point to hire the most socially dysfunctional assholes known to mankind. There are two breeds of Calgary Transit bus drivers, talkers and psycos. Here is the taxonomic description of each type:
Transitus Talkerus -
Transitus Talkerus normal can be seen in it's natural habitat, the front of Calgary Transit long-buses. Through all of the seasons of the year, the Talkerus can be seen wearing it's typical plummage, shorts and a short-sleeve button down shirt. Only during the most extreme of winter will they be seen doning slacks, or a jacket. Both sexes of Talkerus follow the same dress pattern. What sets Talkerus apart from other species of Calgary Transit drivers is it's extensive vocalizations. Basically, they never shut up. During mating season they can be seen trying to give candy to little girls and talking and talking and talking, sometimes to themselves.
Transitus Pyscosis -
Quite like it's close relative Transitus, Talkerus Psycosis also resides in the front of Calgary Transit long buses. Normally this species will wear long trousers even in the hottest of conditions. Perhaps this leads to it's unfriendly demeanor. Psycosis will often scream uncontrolibly at passengers within it's territory, and due to high bloodpressure levels is known to move it's home quite erraticly. Never confront a Psycosis directly, and do not smile at them as they consider this an aggresive attack upon their soul, and will never let you off the bus.
Being serious now, I really do not understand what the problem is with some of these people. I have heard bus drivers scream at people with their headphones on too loud. Several times pedestrians had nearly been plowed over because of their erratic driving. Quite often drivers never respond to even a thank-you or hello. I realize how annoying it must be to deal with some of the passengers (especially teenagers), but if you hate the job, fucking quit for God's sake. Don't make your customer's time miserable just because your's is.
What really peaved me, even though I was not using transit at the time, was the Great Bus Driver strike a few years ago. I think modern unions have no qualms of holding their customers hostage, and it was adequatly demonstrated with that strike. So much money was wasted on both sides, the city and the Transit Union. People couldn't get to work, school or even the doctor because these people were so stubborn. The only people to make money off the whole deal was the cab drivers who were having a ball with all the extra fair. City of Calgary: Pay your bus drivers, even if they don't deserve 20 dollars an hour. Calgary Transit: Don't hold your customers hostage, it breeds animosity.
So, hopefully today the Civ will be fixed, and I can wipe my mind clean of riding transit once again.
Other than that, Ginger dog is sneezing uncontrollibly. It is kinda funny to watch a dog hop several inches off the ground with each sneeze. The Internet told me that if she isn't better in a week wehavetoputherdown I mean take her to the vet. What is the Net better at than self-diagnosing rare tropical diseases of the epidermis and figuring out why your dog is expelling snot at a high rate of speed from it's sinuses.
While growing up in Merritt Island (ya mon, I lived on an island...) Florida we had no public transit, just Big Yellow Cheese Wagons and taxis operated by people with more fingers than teeth. Basically you had to rely on your vehicle otherwise you would live like a hermit eating expired kitty-food found in the dumpster behind the local mega-grocery store. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Apparently now there is a bus that makes four stops a day from the local nursing home to the mall down the street, because you know how much people with Senile Dementia love to go shopping at the dollar store. Note, you have to make an appointment for the bus to pick you up...sweet deal, eh?.
With this prior experience I initially thought that Calgary's transit system was something handed down from god-on-high (God is high...that explains the platypus). I always thought it was so neat to be able to stumble out of the house, onto a bus, and end up somewhere sometime in the future. How wrong could I be...
Basically, I think the Human Resources department at the Good Ole' Calgary Transit make a point to hire the most socially dysfunctional assholes known to mankind. There are two breeds of Calgary Transit bus drivers, talkers and psycos. Here is the taxonomic description of each type:
Transitus Talkerus -
Transitus Talkerus normal can be seen in it's natural habitat, the front of Calgary Transit long-buses. Through all of the seasons of the year, the Talkerus can be seen wearing it's typical plummage, shorts and a short-sleeve button down shirt. Only during the most extreme of winter will they be seen doning slacks, or a jacket. Both sexes of Talkerus follow the same dress pattern. What sets Talkerus apart from other species of Calgary Transit drivers is it's extensive vocalizations. Basically, they never shut up. During mating season they can be seen trying to give candy to little girls and talking and talking and talking, sometimes to themselves.
Transitus Pyscosis -
Quite like it's close relative Transitus, Talkerus Psycosis also resides in the front of Calgary Transit long buses. Normally this species will wear long trousers even in the hottest of conditions. Perhaps this leads to it's unfriendly demeanor. Psycosis will often scream uncontrolibly at passengers within it's territory, and due to high bloodpressure levels is known to move it's home quite erraticly. Never confront a Psycosis directly, and do not smile at them as they consider this an aggresive attack upon their soul, and will never let you off the bus.
Being serious now, I really do not understand what the problem is with some of these people. I have heard bus drivers scream at people with their headphones on too loud. Several times pedestrians had nearly been plowed over because of their erratic driving. Quite often drivers never respond to even a thank-you or hello. I realize how annoying it must be to deal with some of the passengers (especially teenagers), but if you hate the job, fucking quit for God's sake. Don't make your customer's time miserable just because your's is.
What really peaved me, even though I was not using transit at the time, was the Great Bus Driver strike a few years ago. I think modern unions have no qualms of holding their customers hostage, and it was adequatly demonstrated with that strike. So much money was wasted on both sides, the city and the Transit Union. People couldn't get to work, school or even the doctor because these people were so stubborn. The only people to make money off the whole deal was the cab drivers who were having a ball with all the extra fair. City of Calgary: Pay your bus drivers, even if they don't deserve 20 dollars an hour. Calgary Transit: Don't hold your customers hostage, it breeds animosity.
So, hopefully today the Civ will be fixed, and I can wipe my mind clean of riding transit once again.
Other than that, Ginger dog is sneezing uncontrollibly. It is kinda funny to watch a dog hop several inches off the ground with each sneeze. The Internet told me that if she isn't better in a week wehavetoputherdown I mean take her to the vet. What is the Net better at than self-diagnosing rare tropical diseases of the epidermis and figuring out why your dog is expelling snot at a high rate of speed from it's sinuses.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
From an email fwd...
My Dad sent this forwarded email to me to share the chance to see Mars in a big way.
There is mention of this on my astronomy calendar, but I can't attest to the accuracy of the details so be your own judge...
There is mention of this on my astronomy calendar, but I can't attest to the accuracy of the details so be your own judge...
It's going to be a rare sight so remember - don't miss the opportunity to
view 2 moons in the sky - 27 AUGUST 2003 Never again in your lifetime will
the Red Planet be so spectacular! This month and next month the Earth is
catching up with Mars, an encounter that will culminate in the closest
approach between the two planets in
recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in Year 2287.
Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit
astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth
in the last 5,000 years but it may be as long as 60,000 years.
The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within
34,649,589 miles and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the
night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9 and will appear 25.11 arc
seconds wide.
At a modest 75-power magnification Mars will look as large as the full moon
to the naked eye. Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August,
Mars will rise in the east at 10p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m.
By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at
nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30 a.m.
Friday, August 08, 2003
Googlism
I Googlism'd myself and here are some examples of the results:
rea is not just a great personality
rea is in our control
rea is not a claim
rea is the mental state required for a crime
rea is the intention to do the illegal act
rea is one of them
rea is bedoeld voor een ieder die door ziekte of gebrek verminderde kansen heeft op de arbeidsmarkt
rea is true?
Ok they are a lot funnier when you put in someone more "famous"...
ralph klein is attempting to "highjack democracy
ralph klein is an alcoholic
ralph klein is there
ralph klein is a likable guy
ralph klein is losing it
ralph klein is growing
ralph klein is very much against the idea of unions
ralph klein is premier of alberta
ralph klein is ready to introduce robo
ralph klein is coming to a community near you
Uh oh....
rea is not just a great personality
rea is in our control
rea is not a claim
rea is the mental state required for a crime
rea is the intention to do the illegal act
rea is one of them
rea is bedoeld voor een ieder die door ziekte of gebrek verminderde kansen heeft op de arbeidsmarkt
rea is true?
Ok they are a lot funnier when you put in someone more "famous"...
ralph klein is attempting to "highjack democracy
ralph klein is an alcoholic
ralph klein is there
ralph klein is a likable guy
ralph klein is losing it
ralph klein is growing
ralph klein is very much against the idea of unions
ralph klein is premier of alberta
ralph klein is ready to introduce robo
ralph klein is coming to a community near you
Uh oh....
Thursday, August 07, 2003
Night out with the gals....
Tat & Jayne & I are gathering at her abode to partake in some dinner-esque feasting. Apparently we're having Chicken Vegetable curry made with fresh ingredients from T&T market.
Yummers.
random link:
Idioms: Complete List
Yummers.
random link:
Idioms: Complete List
Watch your wallet!
So, we get a call from Visa last night to ask about a few suspect purchases made in the last few days. Try $2000 worth of suspect purchases - someone made a copy of my Dad's card and has been on a bit of a spending spree!
hE'S NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CHARGES THANKFULLY.
mORE LATER WHEN WORK DIES DOWN :-)
Oops on the all caps. Damn. I'll fix that later too.
hE'S NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CHARGES THANKFULLY.
mORE LATER WHEN WORK DIES DOWN :-)
Oops on the all caps. Damn. I'll fix that later too.
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
Some people's parents!
Herald Sun: Tennis dad 'drugged rivals' [07aug03]
Damn, I'm glad I'm not that guy's kid right about now.
Damn, I'm glad I'm not that guy's kid right about now.
Sitting...
It's my lunch hour here, and I'm sitting at my desk taking advantage of the time without anyone else in the cubicle-quad room I'm in.... my hip is bugging me a bit too much to go for my usual lunch hour walk in search of food. I guess a Diet Cola and a Nature Valley soft granola bar will have to do!
I just noticed that the login screen for this computer has been perma-burnt into the monitor. It's showing up in the background of this post as I type and is rather like there's a piece of paper with writing on it behind another piece of paper... you know what I mean?
Vern?
They took away my original phone that had a display and replaced it with a standard boring non-display phone. Now I have to either get a watch, or look at my computer in order to figure out what time it is. Now my phone really is useless since I hardly ever use it, and don't receive calls. Woe is me.
The Kananaskis day trip was tons of fun, even if it was smokey and dusty in places. Better shoes are in order, a new digital camera, and maybe a new hip if this one doesn't stop bugging me anytime soon. I was most impressed that there was nothing to spend any money on, so other than gas and a picnic lunch it was rather affordable! So, on that note, I am hereby accepting requests to come along to check out some of the maintained hikes some weekend - we can seat 4 total :-)
Yes, that means you.
Oh yes, the fireworks! I need to mention to any locals reading that there is a fireworks competition going on in Calgary from August 20th-23rd over near the old Hub Oil plant (actually further out of town I think). It's an international competition with one country out of Canada, USA, & Mexico each taking 1/2 an hour on one night to show their stuff. The finale is on the 23rd. Tix are $5/show, available at Mac's. You'd be spending $20/person to see all 4....
Check it out at Global Fest. I think that link works, I originally read about it at www.cfcnplus.ca, k?
Now where did I put that granola bar.
I just noticed that the login screen for this computer has been perma-burnt into the monitor. It's showing up in the background of this post as I type and is rather like there's a piece of paper with writing on it behind another piece of paper... you know what I mean?
Vern?
They took away my original phone that had a display and replaced it with a standard boring non-display phone. Now I have to either get a watch, or look at my computer in order to figure out what time it is. Now my phone really is useless since I hardly ever use it, and don't receive calls. Woe is me.
The Kananaskis day trip was tons of fun, even if it was smokey and dusty in places. Better shoes are in order, a new digital camera, and maybe a new hip if this one doesn't stop bugging me anytime soon. I was most impressed that there was nothing to spend any money on, so other than gas and a picnic lunch it was rather affordable! So, on that note, I am hereby accepting requests to come along to check out some of the maintained hikes some weekend - we can seat 4 total :-)
Yes, that means you.
Oh yes, the fireworks! I need to mention to any locals reading that there is a fireworks competition going on in Calgary from August 20th-23rd over near the old Hub Oil plant (actually further out of town I think). It's an international competition with one country out of Canada, USA, & Mexico each taking 1/2 an hour on one night to show their stuff. The finale is on the 23rd. Tix are $5/show, available at Mac's. You'd be spending $20/person to see all 4....
Check it out at Global Fest. I think that link works, I originally read about it at www.cfcnplus.ca, k?
Now where did I put that granola bar.
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
jon in calgary
Dear Readers:
rea in calgary has temporarily been taken over by jon in calgary, a subsidiary of Northern Plasticine Chemicals Cooperative (NPCC). NPCC provides superior consumer plastic like products, ranging from knock-off Pez dispensers to the little plastic bits on the ends of shoelaces.
General readship of this blog will not be interrupted, but subjects may progress to the more bizarre and odd.
Thank you for your continuing support,
Jon
Chairman of jon in calgary
*********************************************
Just kidding! I am blogging again because Rea suggested it last night as we stumbled in from a long day in Kanaskis Country.
It all started when a few days before I suggested that we do "something" on the long-weekend Monday. As "something" normally involves lots of driving, and spending of copious amounts of cash, we decided that something "natur-esque" was in store. Being that we have done Banff (sounds like a porn title - Jon and Rea do Banff) many times, and that it costs to enter the park and stop, K-Country seemed like the thing to do. Edmonton and Drumheller were other possibilites, but neither of us wanted to die from boredom (Edmonton) or heatstroke (Drumheller).
Monday morning we packed a lunch of a PB&J for me, Egg Salad on Corn Crakers for Rea, granola bars, pickles, ants on a log, carrots, pop and lemonade. It was a bit much, but thanfully we had it with us. The plan was to follow our 'Day Trips from Calgary' book (of doom) and go to some sort of watchtowers that were built to take watch over (obviously) German war prisoners who were building the damns in K-Country. At 9-ish we set out...
After a bit of driving (and McDonalds breakfast) we reached the exit, and zoomed down the narrow two-lane blacktop towards the area we wanted to see. Since we both never "really" read the guidebook, we blew right past our stop, and went on our merry way...I really don't mind all that much, although yelling the three or so German words I know at the top of my lungs from the towers would have been kind of cool.
Just for the dear readers information, Kanaskis Country is the "psuedo-park" type place South of Banff National Park, to the East of the Rockies. It contains several lesser known Provincial Parks(Peter Lougheed, etc) I happily discovered that they have mountains there, and it was more than just rolling hills. Recently the G-8 summit was held in the Kanaskis Lodge, and all hell didn't break lose (darn, whats up with these peaceful protests?). I got to stand on a spot that G. W. Bush Jr. stood on...my life is complete.
There are quite a few of magnificant views to be had within the park, and the damn system is quite cool. Lots of hiking, boating, rafting, stumbling, falling and getting eaten by various large omnivores. We stopped a few times to jaunt around, and have a look, but since there is so much to see, there really was not enough time in the day, and camping would be a better plan. Be forewarned that you are a far way from any sort of civilization, so don't run out of gas/food/beer. Being that it was the holiday weekend it was fairly busy, but not overly so. Perhaps this is due to the fires that are occuring to the south and causing the air to be less clear.
Since we were both wearing the completely wrong kinds of shoes (me Vans, Rea Payless wonders) and wearing the wrong types of clothes we decided that a hike was a good thing to do. The Guide Book (of doom) suggested the King's Creek hike, which sounded great because it was in the shadows of a canyon, and is apparently quite beautiful. We decided to go for that one...
The trail (or shall I say non-trail) supposedly went 800 meters into the canyon and either stopped, or continued on (the book sucks for descriptions). The first clue we should have had was that we had to cross the creek by jumping on several slime covered stones. This was not the hike to take the kids on (although there were people wo where, kids in backpack carriers...that should be fun). Eventually after about a mile of scrambling up crushed shale mounds, and balancing on longs loosely wedged across the creek we reached a fairly impassible spot...the trail ended. The odd thing is that we never saw the groups that started ahead of us come back, so either they decided to ford the creek and continue on or were abducted by aliens/paramilitary groups. After the hike back we stopped into an information centre close by and asked about the trail. Basically it has been closed for years, and is no longer a recommended outing for the family...go figure.
This morning I told my boss about the hike (he is an avid hiker/runner/general athletic over achiever), and he said that the creek is a path for various animals to take down into the valley and the trail is closed because of it's over abundence of Grizzly Bears. Hmmm...maybe that explains the missing hikers. Anyhow, we made it out just fine except for sore feet and legs (and wet pant cuffs). We also made a nifty rock statue thing that hopefully will last a few weeks and impress all the other hikers as they march of towards their doom.
After that, we planned to go to Canmore, and go the complete 'Kananaskis Loop'. The back road to the north is just that, a gravel road...for 65kms. By the end of it the car was covered in dust (as well as our respritory system). Honda Civics are not ment for gravel roads, especially at the 80km/h posted speed limit. Several times I nearly lost control, but restrained myself from squeeling since I did not need Rea digging her fingernails into my knee...she was blissfully unaware.
When we finally arrived to Canmore (I highly recommend following the road up to the last damn as the view is super-duper) we had dinner at a local pub and watched all the tourists walk to the Canmore Folk Music Festival grounds (it was this weekend). We had booze and nachos, and froze our asses off on the patio. Finally, we headed home just in time to watch the excellent lightning storm.
Twas a fun, and long day...
Hopefully Rea will be back to bloggin soon, when she has time at work, or something like that.
Finis.
rea in calgary has temporarily been taken over by jon in calgary, a subsidiary of Northern Plasticine Chemicals Cooperative (NPCC). NPCC provides superior consumer plastic like products, ranging from knock-off Pez dispensers to the little plastic bits on the ends of shoelaces.
General readship of this blog will not be interrupted, but subjects may progress to the more bizarre and odd.
Thank you for your continuing support,
Jon
Chairman of jon in calgary
*********************************************
Just kidding! I am blogging again because Rea suggested it last night as we stumbled in from a long day in Kanaskis Country.
It all started when a few days before I suggested that we do "something" on the long-weekend Monday. As "something" normally involves lots of driving, and spending of copious amounts of cash, we decided that something "natur-esque" was in store. Being that we have done Banff (sounds like a porn title - Jon and Rea do Banff) many times, and that it costs to enter the park and stop, K-Country seemed like the thing to do. Edmonton and Drumheller were other possibilites, but neither of us wanted to die from boredom (Edmonton) or heatstroke (Drumheller).
Monday morning we packed a lunch of a PB&J for me, Egg Salad on Corn Crakers for Rea, granola bars, pickles, ants on a log, carrots, pop and lemonade. It was a bit much, but thanfully we had it with us. The plan was to follow our 'Day Trips from Calgary' book (of doom) and go to some sort of watchtowers that were built to take watch over (obviously) German war prisoners who were building the damns in K-Country. At 9-ish we set out...
After a bit of driving (and McDonalds breakfast) we reached the exit, and zoomed down the narrow two-lane blacktop towards the area we wanted to see. Since we both never "really" read the guidebook, we blew right past our stop, and went on our merry way...I really don't mind all that much, although yelling the three or so German words I know at the top of my lungs from the towers would have been kind of cool.
Just for the dear readers information, Kanaskis Country is the "psuedo-park" type place South of Banff National Park, to the East of the Rockies. It contains several lesser known Provincial Parks(Peter Lougheed, etc) I happily discovered that they have mountains there, and it was more than just rolling hills. Recently the G-8 summit was held in the Kanaskis Lodge, and all hell didn't break lose (darn, whats up with these peaceful protests?). I got to stand on a spot that G. W. Bush Jr. stood on...my life is complete.
There are quite a few of magnificant views to be had within the park, and the damn system is quite cool. Lots of hiking, boating, rafting, stumbling, falling and getting eaten by various large omnivores. We stopped a few times to jaunt around, and have a look, but since there is so much to see, there really was not enough time in the day, and camping would be a better plan. Be forewarned that you are a far way from any sort of civilization, so don't run out of gas/food/beer. Being that it was the holiday weekend it was fairly busy, but not overly so. Perhaps this is due to the fires that are occuring to the south and causing the air to be less clear.
Since we were both wearing the completely wrong kinds of shoes (me Vans, Rea Payless wonders) and wearing the wrong types of clothes we decided that a hike was a good thing to do. The Guide Book (of doom) suggested the King's Creek hike, which sounded great because it was in the shadows of a canyon, and is apparently quite beautiful. We decided to go for that one...
The trail (or shall I say non-trail) supposedly went 800 meters into the canyon and either stopped, or continued on (the book sucks for descriptions). The first clue we should have had was that we had to cross the creek by jumping on several slime covered stones. This was not the hike to take the kids on (although there were people wo where, kids in backpack carriers...that should be fun). Eventually after about a mile of scrambling up crushed shale mounds, and balancing on longs loosely wedged across the creek we reached a fairly impassible spot...the trail ended. The odd thing is that we never saw the groups that started ahead of us come back, so either they decided to ford the creek and continue on or were abducted by aliens/paramilitary groups. After the hike back we stopped into an information centre close by and asked about the trail. Basically it has been closed for years, and is no longer a recommended outing for the family...go figure.
This morning I told my boss about the hike (he is an avid hiker/runner/general athletic over achiever), and he said that the creek is a path for various animals to take down into the valley and the trail is closed because of it's over abundence of Grizzly Bears. Hmmm...maybe that explains the missing hikers. Anyhow, we made it out just fine except for sore feet and legs (and wet pant cuffs). We also made a nifty rock statue thing that hopefully will last a few weeks and impress all the other hikers as they march of towards their doom.
After that, we planned to go to Canmore, and go the complete 'Kananaskis Loop'. The back road to the north is just that, a gravel road...for 65kms. By the end of it the car was covered in dust (as well as our respritory system). Honda Civics are not ment for gravel roads, especially at the 80km/h posted speed limit. Several times I nearly lost control, but restrained myself from squeeling since I did not need Rea digging her fingernails into my knee...she was blissfully unaware.
When we finally arrived to Canmore (I highly recommend following the road up to the last damn as the view is super-duper) we had dinner at a local pub and watched all the tourists walk to the Canmore Folk Music Festival grounds (it was this weekend). We had booze and nachos, and froze our asses off on the patio. Finally, we headed home just in time to watch the excellent lightning storm.
Twas a fun, and long day...
Hopefully Rea will be back to bloggin soon, when she has time at work, or something like that.
Finis.
Sunday, August 03, 2003
Eww.
There are these little black bugs around that are impervious to screens (too skinny & small). They are travelling in twos - stuck to each other at the ass....
... Mating all over my screen door.
Great.
... Mating all over my screen door.
Great.
Friday, August 01, 2003
Jon Guest Blogging (For No Apparent Reason)
Did you see how I capitalized everything in the title like a Chinese take-out menu? I should write those things professionally.
Anyhow, Rea is currently working with the City doing something to do with land and property management. I have been forwarding at least 3 jobs a day that I find on the net to her, and then we sit down and write at least one cover letter per night. Nothing beats writing cover letters at 10pm on a Friday night.
Today I had to use the facimile communication mechanism at work (aka fax). Did you know that the term fax was coined in 1948. They didn't even have color television, but they had fax machines. I Googled "What does fax mean" and my first result was "What does gay mean?". Kind of funny because the only thing fax and gay have in common is that they both contain three letters.
Today I have decided that although I can program applications, design user interfaces, administer DBMS's and install and configure networks and hardware I cannot work a stupid facimile communication mechanism. First time through I ended up over running some sort of document length. The second time I ended up sending only the first page, and finally after consulting with the local system administrator, I got the document sent. Of course, if this was just some dumb internal document it wouldn't be a big deal. However, this was Rea's resume and cover letter for a job, and now they havle 2.13 copies of it. Sweet deal! Maybe they will notice her! I then talked to the admin guy about fax bombs.
Recipie for a Fax Bomb:
4 Sheets of Paper
8 Pieces of Clear Tape
1 Magic Marker
1 Fax Machine (preferably with unlimited sheets sendable)
1 Whitty or Rude Message
1 Long Weekend
Instructions:
Take the four sheets of paper, tape them together on their short ends, and write some message on them. I recommend something to the extent of: "Gotch ya!" or "Die, f*cker Die". Place the end of the paper banner into the fax machine, dial the number, wait until first page goes through and tape the end of the banner to the beginning of the first page. Lock up office, and go home for the long weekend. When everyone in your arch nemisisisis office returns the following Tuesday, all the paper will be gone from the machine and there will be a pile of rude messages on the floor.
Only consequence...caller ID.
My co-worker system admin beamed with maniacle delight and started planning ultimate fax doom. Oh yea, I created a monster.
Other than that, driving is fun. Not taking the bus is funner. Laughing at the people on the bus is funnest. I forgot what I was missing! Of course since the gods are out to get me (seriously, they send me hate mail), my insurance will probably get dropped, and it will be back to the Big Blue Bus again for me.
Living in the Southeast by the river, naturally there are a lot of spiders around. Unfortunately a colony of them appears to have taken control of the car. Every morning we go out and see that the car is parked funny and covered in spider webs. How many spiders does it take to drive a car? I hate sitting down and realizing that I have just placed my face into something that comes out of a spider's ass.
As you can see by the length of this guest post, I have absolutely nothing to do at work. My job for the last 3 weeks has consisted of sitting around reading and waiting for someone to make a database report request. Since this never happens during this time of year, I think I have spend about 3 hours of the last 100 actually doing productive work. I'm not complaining, but have realized that I do not want a job that is so focused in it's duties.
During my time of un-productivity I have read quite a bit on the net and would like to recommend the following sites (for the creation of wasted time):
www.snopes.com
www.ilovebacon.com
www.experts-exchange.com (good site for system development questions)
Anyhow, I should get back to 'work'.
Word out...yo.
Anyhow, Rea is currently working with the City doing something to do with land and property management. I have been forwarding at least 3 jobs a day that I find on the net to her, and then we sit down and write at least one cover letter per night. Nothing beats writing cover letters at 10pm on a Friday night.
Today I had to use the facimile communication mechanism at work (aka fax). Did you know that the term fax was coined in 1948. They didn't even have color television, but they had fax machines. I Googled "What does fax mean" and my first result was "What does gay mean?". Kind of funny because the only thing fax and gay have in common is that they both contain three letters.
Today I have decided that although I can program applications, design user interfaces, administer DBMS's and install and configure networks and hardware I cannot work a stupid facimile communication mechanism. First time through I ended up over running some sort of document length. The second time I ended up sending only the first page, and finally after consulting with the local system administrator, I got the document sent. Of course, if this was just some dumb internal document it wouldn't be a big deal. However, this was Rea's resume and cover letter for a job, and now they havle 2.13 copies of it. Sweet deal! Maybe they will notice her! I then talked to the admin guy about fax bombs.
Recipie for a Fax Bomb:
4 Sheets of Paper
8 Pieces of Clear Tape
1 Magic Marker
1 Fax Machine (preferably with unlimited sheets sendable)
1 Whitty or Rude Message
1 Long Weekend
Instructions:
Take the four sheets of paper, tape them together on their short ends, and write some message on them. I recommend something to the extent of: "Gotch ya!" or "Die, f*cker Die". Place the end of the paper banner into the fax machine, dial the number, wait until first page goes through and tape the end of the banner to the beginning of the first page. Lock up office, and go home for the long weekend. When everyone in your arch nemisisisis office returns the following Tuesday, all the paper will be gone from the machine and there will be a pile of rude messages on the floor.
Only consequence...caller ID.
My co-worker system admin beamed with maniacle delight and started planning ultimate fax doom. Oh yea, I created a monster.
Other than that, driving is fun. Not taking the bus is funner. Laughing at the people on the bus is funnest. I forgot what I was missing! Of course since the gods are out to get me (seriously, they send me hate mail), my insurance will probably get dropped, and it will be back to the Big Blue Bus again for me.
Living in the Southeast by the river, naturally there are a lot of spiders around. Unfortunately a colony of them appears to have taken control of the car. Every morning we go out and see that the car is parked funny and covered in spider webs. How many spiders does it take to drive a car? I hate sitting down and realizing that I have just placed my face into something that comes out of a spider's ass.
As you can see by the length of this guest post, I have absolutely nothing to do at work. My job for the last 3 weeks has consisted of sitting around reading and waiting for someone to make a database report request. Since this never happens during this time of year, I think I have spend about 3 hours of the last 100 actually doing productive work. I'm not complaining, but have realized that I do not want a job that is so focused in it's duties.
During my time of un-productivity I have read quite a bit on the net and would like to recommend the following sites (for the creation of wasted time):
www.snopes.com
www.ilovebacon.com
www.experts-exchange.com (good site for system development questions)
Anyhow, I should get back to 'work'.
Word out...yo.
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